did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize