Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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