My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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