Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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