Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
