so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
me + whiskey = a bad person
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
