Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
