I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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