so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
