FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
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