I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
