Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

never play flip cup with pint glasses

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.

Fav 26 5372 1531
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.

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(813): View more from Florida

So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.

Fav 5 1366 1110
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(206): View more from Washington

The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.

Fav 5 1488 813
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(512): View more from Texas

Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought

Fav 1 65 144
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.

Fav 0 11 37
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