sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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