Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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