Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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