Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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