You work out of a Hotel?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
