i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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