Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
