Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
