also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
