didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize