I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
