I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
