I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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