I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
