what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
