I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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