Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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