can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
they call him Oral-B. enough said
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
