ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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