There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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