I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize