So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
