I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
