Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
