I heard we made out
I could make wine with my vomit
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Oh god it's open bar.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
