He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize