Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
