So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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