Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize