Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
