16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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