I think im going to throw up on grandma
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
