I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
