oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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