I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
