We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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