He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize