Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
