he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
