Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
