so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize