He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
