If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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