You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
