DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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