Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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