the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
