I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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