Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
