Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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