TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
