Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
