i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
