just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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