No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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