I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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