I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
