i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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