Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I have already put on my inside pants.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
