Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize