he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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