we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
