The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
