How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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